late again

i had a whole bunch of 'i need to do' things this weekend that somehow slipped past me.  like blogging on time.  oh well. 

i went on the women's retreat with my church on friday and saturday, and i think my biggest takeaway from it was this:

i am extremely blessed to have a community of single women in my life stage in my immediate and physical presence.  there have been many seasons of life where this wasn't true, and i am beyond thankful for it now.

but having our small group surrounded by many other women who are no longer in our life stage was useful, too.  because we have much to learn from one another.

i think many churches today struggle to serve single people--and single women in particular.  mj shared a really great blog the other day that discussed this very idea.  (here's the link, if you missed it: http://lindseysthoughts.wordpress.com/2013/12/17/6-ways-to-love-single-women-in-your-church/)

so it is easy for me to sit in a group of women who are married and have kids and feel grossly misunderstood and forgotten.  it is easy for me to let waves of sadness drown me instead of listening to their hearts.  it is easy for me to close off and not want to be vulnerable with women whose lives look nothing like mine.

BUT--and this is a big old giant but--i know i do a huge disservice to my church (and the Church) when i allow bitterness and sadness and jealousy to cause me to miss the many ways they are really loving, connecting with, and serving me.  it is a delicate balance, and there will probably always be a tension surrounding it.  that's usually the case when people who are so different are in the same space.  that doesn't, however, mean that the tension cannot be couched with love and grace.

my favorite grownup has been loving on me, listening to me, encouraging me, challenging me, and speaking life into me for the past twelve years.  she and i have been in completely different life stages for that entire time.  i can't even begin to imagine all the wisdom, laughter, joy, and community i would have missed out on had heather dawn not come into my life...or if i had chosen to shut my heart off from her because our lives look so different.

my heart is free and vulnerable with heather dawn because she has modeled abundant life to me.  she has genuinely cared for me.  she has laughed and cried with me.  so i trust her.  i choose to be authentic with her because i believe she loves me.  if i am going to love the church well, i must consistently choose to believe that they love me.  even if their lives are different.  even if i feel misunderstood. 

because i believe that's what the church is supposed to be--intentional, authentic community moving toward one another in a spirit of love and grace.

by the bright shining light of the moon

 

oh, wisconsin.  how do you do what you do to me? 

 

as many of you probably know, i was in madison and appleton for a very brief stay this weekend.  i have recently been quoted as saying that i really love and miss wisconsin, but only in the summer.  turns out...that's not quite true... 

 

as soon as i got on the beltline, my heart felt different.  i drove past fish hatchery road and todd drive and was flooded with memories.  the places and faces and tastes of madison...there aren't enough words.  i got to see dan and holly.  i ate pho.  i played ultimate.  i got adjusted by chad, the best chiropractor in the freaking world. 

 

although it was butt cold, the weather was relatively cooperative and not much worse than indiana.

 

...and cheese.  OH, THE GLORIOUS CHEESES OF WISCONSIN!  it's something you just can't understand unless you have lived there.  when it comes to cheese, every other state is terrible.

 

and oh yeah, there was that great heart time with mj and jb.  nbd.  lots of giggling, quoting, and eating. 

 

considering i moved to wisconsin seven years ago on a pretty much just a whim, that state grabbed hold of my heart and refuses to let go, no matter how long i am away.

 

it's a terrible, good ache.  just think how bad it would be had i gone to a brewers game or the farmer's market or the farm...

puns

my brother recently sent this to me, and i found it amusing.  if you don't, you probably won't enjoy the rest of this post.  also, i'm shamelessly stealing them from the internet.

-did you hear about the crime that happened in the parking garage?  it was wrong on so many levels.

-i wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden.  it didn't have much of a plot.

-i was arrested after my therapist told me i should take something for my kleptomania.

-she was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

cradle it; don't crank it.

there is something wrong with my neck.

when i was a baby, my nickname was 'floppyhead.'

i don't know if it goes back to infancy, but there has definitely been something wrong with my neck since at least third grade.

i have a very vivid and awful memory of throwing my neck out in a game of duck, duck, goose in the gym at cumberland road elementary school.  for days or maybe weeks afterward, mrs. mcintire would have me come to her desk and help me straighten my head because i couldn't hold it up correctly.

it must have felt better after a while, and i don't even know if i told my parents.  but sometime later in that school year, i was running on the playground and turning my head too quickly.  23 years later, i still remember seeing a white flash and the feeling of lightning streaking down one side of my body.  i am not overstating the pain level.

now, i think we all know i have never been gentle on this body of mine.  it's just the way it goes.  i've broken my wrist, separated my shoulder, strained and sprained almost every joint, strained my groin, given myself a concussion, had multiple ribs go out of place, shattered my nose, etc. 

but.  my neck is the most sensitive place on my body (this is a big statement, because i have really sketchy wrists).

sometime after college, i was stretching to go for a run.  i tweaked my neck but just decided to go about business as usual.  as i was showering later, i noticed it was hard to lean my head back.  and as i drove to the house where i was babysitting that night, i could tell i couldn't turn to the right well at all.  by the time the parents got home, my neck was locked: my head was facing left and slightly down.  i, the champion of pain and wounds, was rendered helpless. 

at the doctor's office the next day, he tried to turn my head.  i screamed, burst into tears, and nearly kicked him in his boy parts.  i got a neck brace and muscle relaxers for my troubles. 

i don't know if my neck issues have contributed to my history of migraines.  i don't know if they factor into my stupid ribs sliding out of place.  i do know chiropractors must rub their hands delightedly when they see my cocked head walk into their offices.

so.  since your prayers were mighty and beyond powerful for chuck, i wouldn't hate if you directed some at my neck.  just saying.

deep and rooted

i believe in the life-saving and life-giving power of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

and i believe in the immense wild unknown of prayer.

i believe my Father hears me speak and delights to listen.

i believe that Jesus is a mighty healer, that he performed countless miracles while He walked on earth, and that He continues to perform them.

i believe in asking people to be prayer warriors and stand in the gap for everything, because i really do believe everything in life is worth praying about.

but there are things that are weightier and should be treated as such.

so right now, i am asking you to pray for chuck.  pray that his kidneys would miraculously start functioning.  pray that his body would stabilize so the doctors can make their next decisions about what to do for his heart.  pray that they can get a new pacemaker in soon.  pray that he would be filled with hope, peace, and the will to fight.  pray for his story of wonder and redemption. 

ask.  keep asking.  pray without ceasing.

i'll try being delightful

just as a nice change of pace, today i will discuss delightful things.  let's see.  where to start?

1) a delightful memory: in fifth grade, we had classroom auctions.  my favorite thing i ever bought at one of these auctions was a typewriter.  i still own this typewriter, although it is sitting in my parents' basement.  i think typewriters are super cool.  i love the noise they make.  however, when i am writing on my computer, i edit while i type.  so...that would be tedious and awful on a typewriter.  also, typewriters make me think of frank in you've got mail.

2) a delightful movie: you've got mail.  enough said.  but not really...enough good things could never be said about this movie.  i love it, and it tightly binds my heart with mj and jb's. 

3) a delightful near-future event: jb is turning 30 in a few weeks!  this is wonderful, because she has graced the world for three decades.  and because it means i get to go to wisconsin. 

4) a delightful near-past event: i helped pull out one of shorty mcgee's teeth last week.  she was a lot like heather in this whole process...as in, i could have blown on it to make the tooth fall out...that's how loose it was.  ha.

5) a delightful medical update: i used to have nosebleeds alllllllll the time when i was little.  but with the exception of being smashed in the face with a broomball stick and a frisbee, i can't think of any other recent nosebleeds.  heehee...i know you want to see this picture.  classic. 

(for those of you unfamiliar with the situation, i was playing broomball with junior high students and took a stick squarely to the face.  this picture was a few days after it occurred.  the result was a shattered nose, stitches, and two black eyes.  it.was.awesome.  (aside within an aside here: when i say it was awesome, i legitimately mean that.  i love injuries, and this was the first time i had ever gotten stitches.))

6) a delightful heart thing: our small group started last thursday, and i really love them.  i love them so much that i created a spreadsheet that has multiple tabs, and i contemplated how i could incorporate conditional formatting.  community and spreadsheets.  yesss.  which obviously leads me to...

7) a delightful work thing: spreadsheets are sooooo great!  i like that i have a job where i get to use them with regularity.

8) a delightful sports thing: i am delighted by the number of badgers in the super bowl this year.

9) a delightful food thing: aunt sue's tea house in marion certainly qualifies as delightful.  mmm.  tea.  scones.  i am drooling just thinking about it.  must.roadtrip.soon.

i bet you didn't know i had ten delightful things in me today, huh?  here it is:

10) a delightful truth: winter ends.  it always does. 

limbo

oh, the state of limbo.  i'm pretty sure it's one of those small states near new hampshire that everyone confuses. 

my state of limbo has been months long.  and it's annoying.

theoretically, it's about two weeks from being over.  but i doubt that's true.  (how did i wind up as a pessimist with positivity as one of my strengths?  cray to the cray.)

i am a small picture girl.  give me details and a solid framework.  don't ballpark it with me.  don't give me a big picture vision if you can't at least offer me some viable path to get there.  ugh.

...

rant over.  ish.

...

are you feeling like an area (or all) of your life is in limbo right now?  what are your processing strategies?