everybody was kung fu fighting

g'day, mates.  welcome to the 'i committed to blog once a week for a year and this is the first week of that' blog.  i'm sure it will be a post full of wonder and adventure, so get your backpack and compass, and we'll be on our way.

yo, did you see this cuteness from my birthday?  please.

with regard to the list, i don't have a lot of updates.  i'm plugging away on my weekly items, although it was more of a challenge this week than it will be most weeks, i think.  i put a good little dent in my running miles, and twice this week, i ran much faster than usual.  so that's weird.  (yesterday, i ran 3.64 miles at 8:06 pace...bizarre.)

i also went through heather's list to try and identify 31 items with which i might want to help.  if you're not familiar with heather (she's my older sister) or her list, go HERE.  you should probably just follow her and make snarky comments.  she'd like that.

for the bulk of this week's post, though, i thought i should probably fill you in on what the heck is going on in my life.

at the moment, i am in my parents' house.  i'm hanging out with b & d for the weekend.  the past three weeks, i have been housesitting for my favorite grownup.  but on monday, i will be back at travis & kelli's.  which should be fun, since my room is currently being painted for baby squishy.  and in two weeks, i am moving.

yay!

well, not yay to the moving part.  but yay to everything it implies:

1) i will have a permanent residence for the first time since jennifer and i lived together.  yeah, that was in 2010.  remember my BLOG from back then?  haha.  :)  (in the past three years, i have lived out of suitcases and boxes (and occasionally dressers) in the following places: mom & dad's, aunt betty & uncle jon's, adam & alicia's, aunt betty & uncle jon's, wigger, mom & dad's, asian holly's, mom & dad's, travis & kelli's, rich & heather's, and travis & kelli's.)  ready. for. a. home.

2) i get to live with liz.  nonstop shenanigans, most likely.  and we will be neighbors with allyse and cam, which will be so fun.

3) i get to unpack all my books!!!!!!!!!!!

4) i get to organize an entire apartment.  my heart is metaphorically exploding with joy about this!

5) we will live in pendleton, which is such a cute little town.  you are all invited to come hang out.  in fact, i'll probably invite you for a meal or a tea party or something else on my list.  :)

five is enough, i think.

i am extremely grateful for the people who have housed me.  but i am so excited for this next chapter.  i would appreciate a lot of prayer in the next couple of weeks.  if you know me at all, you are aware that my mind has gone into insane list-making mode (and not the fun kind of list).  so i am trying to create lots of pauses and space in my days to remind myself to breathe and that the details will come together.

whew.  i'll see you in a week or so.  :)

thirtyoneders "...got it. looks like the o'needers."

i know you have been just chomping at the bit to see what shenanigans i would commit myself to over the course of the next year.  well, wait no longer!  the list is posted.

here's what you should know about my list:

-it starts on sunday.  it lasts for a year.

-some old favorites are back.  it turns out that i like hosting meals and being active.  who knew?

-some old failures are back.  if you've been with me for a while, you know that make my t shirt quilt goes back at least to my 27 things list.  i think it might actually happen this time.

-some of them are a little vague.  this is intentional.  it leaves flexibility.  and if i decide to put something even cooler on my list, one of the vague ones might get removed.  (so if you have a great idea you want to suggest, you still can!)

-many of them are social!  i know, it's difficult to believe that the hermit crab would put so many social items on her list.  if any of them sounds appealing, let me know you want to be invited.

-i am committed to blogging this one out.  and yes, that even means VIDEO blogs.  after watching the lizzie bennet diaries (and if you haven't, you absolutely should.  immediately.  here's the LINK to the first one.), i have been asked to document my nonsense for the world to see.  oy.  i'll keep you posted on that.


let me know what you think!

gentle words

you are loved.
you are not lost.
you are not alone.
tears are redemptive.
sorrow is refining.
you are loved.
you are chosen.
you are wildly blessed.
seasons are illuminating, and they do not last.
you are a grace-bearer.
you are loved.
you are not the same as you were.
you are full of love.
joy comes in the morning.
you are redeemed.
you are loved.

you are beloved.

this was yesterday

without warning,
the ache courses through me--
loneliness and longing
sitting like a pit in my stomach.
empty and waiting,
the hurt creeping to my
fingertips and toes.
tears in my eyes,
a groaning sigh
escapes from my core.

     selah

though my heart feels
restlessly desperate,
i will speak truth:
you are faithful.
though i feel blind and lost,
i will press into you:
you have grace for each moment.

     selah

though i am weak and weary,
i will give you this heart.
let my sorrow be a holy offering.

     selah




holly willman
6/5/13

ideas

i will post more about it later, but i am compiling a new list of sorts.  and don't worry...i will announce it with lots of the snark and shazam you have come to love and expect on this blog.

in the meantime, i am looking for suggestions of challenges you have for me.  they need to be mostly practical, particularly where my budget is concerned.  so traveling challenges are mostly out for the time being.

if the challenge is a more personal one, feel free to email or facebook message me instead of leaving it in the comments.

i am here: here i am

i have not forgotten about you.  and there are some things that i want to share.  so hunker down for a minute.

i have been making some really healthy choices for my life in the past month.  nothing drastic or life changing, at least on the surface.  but below the surface?  oh, they're making an impact.

some of my active/physical choices:

i started running again.  not a lot.  my body simply won't tolerate a lot.  but some.  and to be honest, it feels good.  no matter what i say, please don't ever let me run a marathon again.  not all people are meant to do that. 

i've also been incorporating yoga and volleyball.  so i am doing restful things and fun things.  those are important keys to being active and not hating it.

some of my habit choices:

i'm drinking at least 80 ounces of water per day.  that was really hard initially, and i still pee alllllllllll the time, but i can feel the positive effects of it on my body. 

i'm getting at least 6 hours of sleep every night.  that number might still seem low to some of you, but the consistent amount is the important part.  my body certainly appreciates it--i have never been very good about quality sleep in the past, so this has been a nice blessing.

at least until my birthday, i'm not eating candy, dessert, or fast food.  i'm not drinking soda.  and i am being very deliberate about not eating excessively.  that means slowing down and thinking about my food choices. 

--

there are other things i am doing that pertain to whole life wellness.  i set some mental and spiritual goals along with my physical goals.  and my heart is really resting a lot more.  i'm recognizing myself and remembering who i want to be and where i want to go...and allowing the Lord to speak so much truth and grace into me. 

it's a good season.  and i wanted you to rejoice with me in it.

empty

And the weight becomes unbearable.

The pressure?  Too much.

I crack, ever so slightly.  Tiny bit by tiny bit.

I can feel it on the inside. 

But I disregard the warnings.

Keep the game face on.

Head down, plowing through…

as though there is nothing to be done.

The tension increases.  Systems fail.

And I am too weary to pretend, to fight.

So my pride seeps out the cracks.

You can hear the weariness in my voice--
it breaks as I try to speak through the tears.

My pride dissipates.

My sorrow fades away.

My anger wanes.

My hurt feelings sharpen, then soften, then evaporate.

I can feel the raw edges,
see my imperfections.

The flaws would overwhelm me if I’d let them…and I used to.

Grace for the graceless.

He calls me beloved,
whispers through my whimpers.

He is faithful
to this faithless fool.

The truth remains that he makes all things new.

And that is enough.

Holly Willman

3/26/13