Tuesday, December 10, 2013

winter weight in the winter wait

some people love winter.  i just don't.  and it's more than not loving winter.  it's actually really struggling during winter.  (yes, i lived in wisconsin.  no, i am not sure how i survived those winters.)

winter is hard, depleting, draining.
winter is a time when i want to hibernate.  get this girl into some sweatpants and don't bother her till april.  that kind of hibernate.
winter literally destroys my skin, cracking all around my fingernails and drying out everywhere.  i have to shove vaseline up my nose just to keep it from bleeding.  and i am so itchy!
winter makes me physically ache...my joints hurt like i'm a hundred and my head weighs a thousand pounds.  there is snow and ice all over the ground, so i can't go out and run.  also, it's 11 degrees out, so i don't actually want to run.  and not running makes my body feel blahhhhhh.

and you know what else?

winter is a terribly hard time to be a single person in this world.

i love my family of origin, and i adore my niece and nephews.  i am incredibly blessed and thankful for my family of creation, too--the community i am building throughout my lifetime that is not dependent on last names (although i feel so grateful that i enjoy my family as friends, too). 

but.

i'm not sure if there's ever a time where it is so painfully thrust upon me that i am still in this season of singleness.

...

dear friends, as an ardent believer in and lover of Jesus Christ who still lives in this world, i recognize that life is in constant tension.  and here's part of mine: being present in and thankful for the season of life that i am in while passionately desiring a husband with whom to partner and children to raise up in joy and grace.

...

so i wait.  and i take heart that, though circumstances may seem to dictate otherwise, God is not absent in the wait.  when they hid, he pursued his children in eden.  when they suffered, he heard their cries in egypt.  when they wandered, he led them like a shepherd in israel.  when they waited for 400 years in silence, he came to meet them in bethlehem. 

in the advent season, we wait because he is coming.  what a promise!  what a hope!

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