what i do like to talk about...

so i like to find blogs and articles and send them to people.  this has multiple purposes.  one, i just like sharing things that are awesome.  recipes, cool apps, an unreasonable amount of pictures of my niece and nephews...you get the idea.  two, when i resonate with the heart of the article/book/blog, sharing it is a way of sharing part of myself without having to come up with all the words on my own.  as an introvert, sometimes i just don't have enough words.  and three, sharing something important to my heart is a way to stimulate thoughts and conversation about real life stuff.

speaking of sharing, i hope you've been checking out mj's blog.  you can subscribe by email, so there's no reason not to!  just go here and do that quickly.  then come back.

ok welcome back.  :)

this blog i write is not about singleness.  it's not about introverts.  it's not about middle children.  it's about life--the stress, the mess, the grace, and the joy.  but because my life encompasses singleness, introversion, and middle children (ok, i don't write about being the middle child very often--it's probably more in the undertones.), i write about these things from time to time.

and let's face it.  it can be a struggle to be a single introverted middle child.  talk about the short end of the social stick, am i right?

so here's one of my shares: this week, i sent a link to this blog to a few people.  you'll notice it in mj's blog, too.  it has some great words, and i would love for you to read it.  it talks about singleness in a very real way.  what i love most about it is how continually inclines toward Jesus.  i think that's incredibly important when talking about anything that we are chewing on--matters of the heart that just don't sit or fit.  no matter where you're at or what you're feeling, learning to press into it.  search out God in it.

and i think it's helpful to talk about these things as they relate to the body.  it's difficult to be a single person in the church (thank you, Jesus, for my small group!), and it is easy to feel misunderstood or even forgotten.  but i think it's also tricky to articulate how we need the church to love us and care for us.  it's challenging at times to affirm in ourselves that we are not less-than because we do not have spouses.  it's hard hard hard to answer questions about why we are STILL single.  it's frustrating to carry the hope of being a wife and mother while also trying to live fully and authentically.

so we wait.  we pray.  we hope.  we cry.  and we wrestle with the questions.  we give ourselves to the process and to community.  we share, and we talk.

this is life.

oh dear. summer has been bad for my blogging. i guess that's the way it goes. i'd like to tell you it'll get better, but i really doubt it will until i have a real schedule in my life again.

i went to the lake this past weekend and soaked in lots of sun, got my fill of bugs and lake water, laughed a ton, and ate wayyyy too much food. super unusual, huh? (i wish)

i also got some writing done. if you didn't see it over on the side of my blog, i posted a new chapter called 'slavery and freedom.' and i edited all the writing i had previously finished, so the older chapters have been cleaned up a bit.

i wrote a poem, too, so once i get that put on docstoc, i'll post it here as well.

and for your enjoyment, here's the cast of real world: okoboji.

one month down

i can't believe a month of my summer is gone already. CRAZY.

i am mad busy. but it's good. working for the dollar bills (and really enjoying ye olde magic shoppe)...frisbee till i wanna puke (another tournament this weekend...i'll strive to be better about sunscreen)...homework (not gonna lie...i'll be glad to be done with these classes. they're more fun in marion. lol. i have less distractions there, too.)...and trying to hang out with people. that is a surprisingly hard task.

let's see...what else has changed in the past month...

i got a new sister.

i got bangs.

i traded cars.

yeah, i think those are the highlights.

here's what i haven't been doing:

writing.

working on my t shirt quilt.

running (aside from frisbee).

eek.

we'll see what the next two months bring.

f&s: mid-semester check-up

so when i set my blog schedule last month, i apparently thought this would be a good time for a mid-semester check-up. that's all i wrote, though, so i don't know if i had something very specific in mind. but i guess i'll just give you a little update on life things.

a) school is going really well. of course, i say that just two days removed from spring break, so maybe i am deluding myself. quite possible. in fact, i have a lot of things due this week that i am really having trouble motivating myself to do. so when i say school is going really well, i should probably clarify.

i love being a student. even more than i loved it last semester. i am in the groove of it; i love learning; i love being on a campus and around students.

i have felt much less stressed out this semester. there are multiple factors that feed into that, but the next month and a half will likely heighten the stress level because a million things are due.

b) i have been sick basically all semester, but i feel pretty much ok now. still coughing, but everything else is working as well as it ever does, so not much to complain about here. the weather is taking a turn for the better this week (supposedly), so i expect to be running more. gotta get my booty in shape for frisbee this summer.

c) i am slowly building community here (and not trying to force myself to be so uncomfortable this semester), but i really miss madison and the people there...so i am spending the summer up north...playing frisbee...rockin the world. it's gonna be rad.

d) i have been better about the blog than i expected. i have not been as good about other writing every day. even so, i am definitely writing much more than i did last year; i have good focus and direction for my book; writing more consistently is helping me creatively. it would help me if you gave me some writing projects, so if you have ideas, let me know.

anything else you'd like an update on in my life?

why i write: because books kick me in the butt

sorry about the hiatus yesterday. it was kind of a long, strange day. turns out i was more attached to my wisconsin license plates than expected.

anyway...

there are a few books that have really pushed me to

a) write now,

b) write more, and

c) write better.

they are books that challenge and encourage me. they are books that make me feel completely inadequate as a writer but also [oddly] inspire me to believe that i have a voice.

if you ask very many writers or bloggers, they will probably include at least one of these books on their 'books that make me wanna write' list...because they're awesome. i don't claim to be unique in my love or appreciation of these books. i just want you to know about them.

so here you go:

letters to a young poet

(rainer maria rilke)

bird by bird

(anne lamott)

the war of art

(steven pressfield)

a million miles in a thousand years

(donald miller)

there are tons of books i could add to this list, but these four, in particular, have helped me take pivotal steps in my writing journey.

so tell me--what else should i be reading? what inspires you (or kicks you in the butt)?

my favorite...space to write...

ok, people. i do not get paid for plugging stuff on my blog on thursdays. i just love the crap out of this stuff and want to tell you. (but if someone does want to pay me, i am totally amenable to that idea.)

today, i am going to share my deep love for moleskine notebooks. if i had the financial resources, i would buy every single version they make.

i am the current owner of a soft cover 12-month monthly notebook and at least three hard cover pocket ruled notebooks.

these little guys are balm to this writer's soul--they fit in purses (i know--i only own one and rarely carry it...you're missing the point), you can tuck them in your backpack, and if you just want to take a walk without a bag, they fit in your back pocket. glorious.

but the planner? oh. my. heavens. i am obsessed with it. this is my second year to use one to schedule out my life, and it makes a world of difference. it is ideal. its fabulous features include (but are not limited to):

big days of the week so i can write assignments and coffee dates.

an extra space at the end of the week where i can conveniently plan out my blog schedule for the month.

blank, lined sheets between each month (which i use to detail out each minute of each day. ok, not minute by minute. more hour by hour.).

gobs of blank, lined sheets at the end of the year for writing whatever i want. i keep many lists here.

a pocket to hold miscellaneous items (especially post its).

look at this page and tell me you do not want to own every single notebook. i mean, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? tiny notebooks for writing music, recipes, wine...i could just die. that is how much i love them.

and i do not own this one, but i desperately wish i did. i can't tell you why except that it just speaks to my heart. i also love the adorable little flippy reporter ones.

do you love moleskines? which (if you can possibly choose) is your favorite?

2011: the year of writing

so here are the goals i have for writing this year:

• i am going to write every day

• with purpose
• with passion
• even when i am sick
• even when i am tired
• even when school stuff is due

• i am going to blog [at least] five times a week:
  
  
  • on a schedule
  • with direction
  • for a broader audience than the people i know currently subscribe
    
    
• i am going to write at least one chapter of my book each month.
  
  
• i am going to publish my writing.

the master schedule

in an effort to be more diligent with my blogging and writing, i made a schedule. i think this will help me commit to creating quality posts for you; i also think it will allow me to work within a framework--in other words, if i have an idea about the types of things i will be writing, my brain will automatically shift to think in those terms.

you should know i am striving to give myself the kind of grace i give to others--so i will tell you right now that i doubt i will do this schedule perfectly, but i will make every effort to not allow failures to keep me down.

mondays: devotional thought. my hope is that i will have learned and processed things over the previous week (and weekend, when i don't plan on doing scheduled blogging) that i can formulate into something that is both personal to me and thought-provoking for you. we'll see. :)

tuesdays: faith and school. sometimes i will be talking about how my faith fits into my schooling process (or has in times in the past), but sometimes i will be talking more generally. faith integration is just as important in the small christian environment as it is in large public schools, so i think it will be an interesting topic that is broadly applicable.

wednesdays: why i am a writer. this might be a little abstract some weeks, but i just want to share general thoughts about writing, etc. i'll talk about books, people, and things that inspire me.

thursdays: my favorite feature. this should be one of the more chill days of the week. i'm going to pick something that i love in the world and explain why.

fridays: picture this. i'll do some photoblogging for you. with my own pictures, theoretically. i mean, i have a camera for that reason, right? ;)

special days:

30 by 30: on the 21st of every month, you'll be getting my update rather than the featured segment for the day. until i'm 30, that is.

monthly cooking segment: as close as possible to the day that i make the meal, i will post the pictures and recipe (if i feel like sharing it...if i don't, you might have to make a special request).

cast of characters: i know that last semester, i only did one of these...certain people around town are kind of surly and unwilling to be featured. but i will get on that for you and try to post a few more.

poem, song, and chapter updates: these will probably be little bonus announcements rather than replacing the designated days, but it depends on my workload.

***

just because i am getting more serious about writing does not necessarily mean my writing will get more serious. i'll try to maintain that charm and humor you know and love. :)

new year, new energy?

as promised, i will be making some changes to the blog this year. this week, i will kind of outline what it's going to look like--the posts will help clarify some of what i have been processing and illustrate the direction i am heading (with life, with the blog...).

last year, my personal focus was on being less complacent about life. i think i did pretty well (with some obvious epic fails scattered throughout)--i grabbed hold of opportunities; i had challenging conversations with people; i made some big life decisions. so taking that a [pretty scary] step forward, my personal focus this year is to be more intentional. i want to apply that focus to everything, but my writing and what i am doing with it are a huge part of it. you'll hear more about that later in the week.

so why a new blog style?

• it will be action-oriented. i need things to work toward; i need specific guidelines and deadlines in order to be most productive and efficient.
• i am lazy. i am not naturally self-motivated at all. this new style will kick my butt.
• this will challenge me creatively, and that is a very good thing.
• this is a year where i am going to [finally] get serious about my writing. (please hold the applause. your shared joy is enough for me.)
• i want to continue to be vulnerable and share more of my world and heart. sometimes i forget that not everyone actually knows what i am doing with my days; my hope is that you will have a better feel for that as the weeks and months go by.

here's a preview of the week to come:

tuesday: my new blogging schedule
wednesday: my writer's credo
thursday: my goals for writing in general as well as writing on the blog
friday: capture the moment

i'd love your feedback as the week goes on (and further in the future, of course).

btw, i don't think i mentioned it, but i posted another chapter(ish) of my book.

oh, crap. i have a blog.

i know, i know. i'm a terrible blogger. last week was intense, but that's no excuse. feel free to hold me accountable for not blogging and not writing. the point of the blog is to share my life and do writing assignments.

oops.

on the plus side, i am wearing a skirt today.

i'm aware that has nothing to do with blogging, but at least i am trying a little.

and i didn't give you the ability to give me a real assignment last week because i felt overwhelmed by all the things i had to accomplish. however, it is a common occurrence for me to write poetry/songs when i am sitting in class in order to appear to be taking notes. so i have a poem/future lyrics to a song for you.

to be fair, it is sort of about what we were discussing in class--existential therapy...which is all about dealing with normal anxiety, finding meaning in life, etc.

super exciting news!

i am pretty sure i discovered how to keep you updated on the progress of my book! if you're reading this in google reader, you'll never know what i did. so go to the real page.

if you look on the right sidebar below my profile picture, you will see the current hot mess of a book in progress. :) if i did it correctly, when you click on each chapter of the book, you'll be taken to docstoc, which should allow you to read what i've written.

assuming i figured it out, i'm pretty excited about it. this may also inspire me to create different sections for this blog...and that way, i'll have a cleaner archive system for people who just want to read my 'actual' writing and not just the nonsense that spews out of my head. :)

writing challenge number one

i finished the song. it does have a guitar part. in fact, the melody might be familiar to some of you. it's to the tune of 'the pirates who don't do anything.' at some point, you will get to hear it on this very blog. i'm not sure when. but at some point. until then, here are the lyrics. enjoy. (also, this is not actually fritz, but it looks a lot like him.)

fritz, the dog who doesn't do anything

(chorus)
fritz is a dog who doesn't do anything
he just stays home and lies around
and if you ask fritz to do anything
i'll just tell you--he won't do anything

(verse)
well, he's never done my homework
and he doesn't help with laundry
and he doesn't fix dinner or vacuum down the hall
and he's never washed the dishes
and he doesn't polish silver
and he's never been to boston in the fall

(chorus)

(verse)
and he won't toss a frisbee
and he doesn't write my papers
and he won't pack my lunch or come in when i call
and he doesn't get a paycheck
and he's never brought me pizza
and he's never been to boston in the fall

(chorus)

(verse)
well, he doesn't make my coffee
and he doesn't share the blankets
and he doesn't ask nicely when he wants to play ball
and he's never gotten groceries
and he doesn't knit me sweaters
and he's never been to boston in the fall

books out the wazoo

the song about fritz wins the vote. so i will work on that this week.

make sure you feed the duck and the hedgehog. they need your love.

quote of the day: 'i will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. i will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. and then on some dark, cold night, i will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.' (the one and only sue sylvester)

roast beef for lunch again

points of interest:

the poll is up. and it's working. so if you tried before without success, try voting again. otherwise, i'll just keep writing random nonsense that has no purpose or direction.

2. if you're reading this in google reader or something of the sort, go to the actual site...well, because you need to vote. but also because i adopted a pet duck. his name is puckerman. puck the duck. ;) how dare you accuse me of having a glee theme to my blog?

c. travis and i played racquetball yesterday. my right arm feels barely functional today. which could be a problem for frisbee tomorrow. not to mention the fact that i haven't run for months now.

next: madison is calling my name, and i am so excited to go. as usual, bj novak is a loser and will likely strand me somewhere. let's hope he doesn't.

(sidenote--real bj novak, if you're reading this, i don't think you're a loser. i love you deeply.)

it might go to my head

in two days, i have generated 8 followers! feeling pretty darn special. although that does mean i probably have to write about quality things.

i'm going to try and create a poll about said quality things, so please vote.




also, i'm going to madison tomorrow! yay!

new state, new blog

hello, dear void that is the internet. it's me, holly. i tried to stay away, but you sucked me back with your square footage, your discounts, your armchairs, and your cappuccino.

it's true. i'm back. with a whole new blog and a whole new attitude. oh, were you thinking that i already had plenty of attitude to go around? sorry 'bout that.

so this blog...hmm...this blog will be the best version of every blog i have ever created. it will take my witty anecdotes from xanga, my thoughtful writing from the secret blog, and [maybe] my mad photography skills from the photo blog.

i'd love your input on topics you'd like me to write about.

that is all.

love, holly :)