Friday, October 29, 2010

coming soon: cast of characters

while i was driving to fishers from marion today, i realized that a lot of you do not know the new people in my life. so over the next [however long it takes me to do this], i will be doing a series of blog posts called 'cast of characters.' there are multiple reasons behind this:

1) as miranda oh so sweetly pointed out, i have not posted any pictures that i have actually taken. they are all from google or miranda. so i am going to attempt to actually take some pictures and post them.

2) you can get to know some of the yahoos with whom i am spending the next couple of years. lucky.

boy, am i excited to go up to people and say, 'hey, i need your picture so i can write about you on my blog.' nothing sounds cooler than that.

please let me know what kind of information you would like to know about these people. i haven't gotten much feedback lately, so it's hard to know in what direction i should proceed.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


i guess i am kind of a weirdo in that i usually like to hang out in the 'less popular' books of the bible. i'll go chill in isaiah for a while...kick it in the peters (which sounds kind of dirty now that i have typed it)...tool around in hosea...when i was in high school, i don't even know how many times i read job. followed closely by the number of times i read lamentations. you can see what a cheery kid i was.

but hey, um...i mean, can we talk about the book of romans for a second?


so i guess it's just been a while (maybe since sometime last year) that i really dug my heels into romans. but holy crap, kids. this book is RIDICULOUS.

every day, i read something like it's the first time i've ever even read it. i want to sign right up for paul's army of champion christian soldiers. the whole book is just stupid (in a freaking great way)...every chapter has me underlining and writing 'YES!' in the margins like i'm sitting in the pews of a southern baptist church. 'PREACH ON, BROTHER PAUL! THAT'S RIGHT!' haha.

let's look at chapter 12 for a moment. please. it's just...i can't even come up with a word right now. i am chomping my gum and shaking my head to find the correct adjective for how bad ass this chapter is.

'don't just pretend to love others. really love them. hate what is wrong. hold tightly to what is good. love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.' romans 12: 9-10

before i read this, i had just gotten done writing in my journal about how thankful i was for the community that God has lavished on me here. i wrote about that last week. he is so not done with me. my prayer for community was a weak, wannabe prayer. kind of like how before i went to myrtle beach, i prayed that he would teach me to trust and be vulnerable with others. he must just laugh hysterically at me and say, 'oh, girl, you have no idea what i have in store for you.'

so anyway, i really feel like he is pointing out, 'hey, i heard your prayer (as half-hearted as it may have been), and i am delighted to answer it. but i don't just want you to have friends in marion. i want you to invest deeply. really love them. press into them, and allow them to press into you. your love for one another is a symbol of my love for you. know me more through them. in your love for others, you will show me.'

wow. :)

get it? they're romans.

Monday, October 25, 2010

dekan: the poem too racy for docstoc

opening my mouth
sharing my heart
i’m naked before you
and i’m uncomfortable
can i trust you?
will i scare you?
i’m naked before you
and i’m shaking
baring my soul
speaking my mind
i’m naked before you
and i’m bleeding
will you help me?
can you save me?
i’m naked before you
naked before you


my bad. i don't know how a week can slip by without writing something. though, dear void, you are not holding me accountable in the least, so that makes it easier.

i wrote two poems today in class. you must think i never learn anything in there. well, you'd be right some of the time. but the first poem actually applies directly to a video that we had to watch. so there. as it turns out, docstoc will not let me publish that one because it is suspected of having adult content. probably cause it says the word 'naked' 7 times. oh, well. i'll just publish that in its own entry.

in other news, this was not a very relaxing weekend. it was full of people. great people, but still a lot of them. yikes. brief summary of the events:

slumber party with the dundores--nail painting, pizza eating, pumpkin carving, settlers playing. all in all, a good time.

the food explosion--making guacamole and fruit salad for 5 hours. oh. my. heavens.

the shid--christine shidla meandered down from madison to hang out at a starbucks in target in castleton. i like that redhead. yup, i am fully aware of the irony of making that statement and then using a black and white picture of her.

it is your baby shower--a lot of people. holy moses, a lot of people. oh, and also a fun time of celebrating my little sister and baby ez-c.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


you know how sometimes-------so rarely, really-------i act like a hermit and never leave my room?

'what's that,' you say. 'holly, a hermit? i wouldn't believe it even if it saw it! holly is outgoing and loves meeting people! she likes to socialize and share her life with others.'

FALSE. i am not, do not, never will, and often do only against my will.


i have been rather convicted about that. sometimes God uses people to convict me of it. like when they flat out call me a hermit to my face. sometimes he just puts it on my heart. either way, before i left wisconsin, i publicly declared (and by publicly declared, i mean i told like three people) that i would intentionally seek out community at school so that i would have people to invest in and with whom to be authentic. (as opposed to what i did when i moved to wisconsin, which was...nothing. for a year.)

i made the deliberate decision to have a class be on campus (instead of all three being online.) i have attended social type things. i said, yes! i want a mentor in the grad program. yes! i will go hang out as long as liz will drive me. yes! i will go hang out even when liz won't drive me.

these are all kind of big steps for me, as sad as that might be.

but here's the coolest part of it...

i am making friends! :)

sometimes, i sound like a kid who just got back from her first day of kindergarten.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

maybe alicia is right...

i don't really know how twitter works. honestly, the most i have i ever read on twitter has been between mindy kaling and bj novak. cause they're awesome.

a while ago, alicia penning told me that i should have a twitter account because i say random funny things. but considering she is friends with shanti, i felt like i probably couldn't compete.

on occasion, however, i think about how helpful it would be to have twitter...i just put up a new facebook status about ten minutes ago, and i already have something new i want to put up there. *some people* have told me that i change my status too often (and clutter their newsfeed), so i feel self-conscious about changing it so soon.

and really, it was more the kind of thought that would read better on twitter than on facebook because it was just a purely random thought that fell out of my head and not something that applies to other people (like all the music lyrics and movie quotes that i make as my facebook status).

but i don't know if i could keep up with the speed of twitter. i feel as if it could turn into an addiction really quickly and cause me to forsake homework. and that i would find my worth in how many people followed me or retweeted the brilliant things i said. that is a pressure i am not sure i can handle.

so i am holding off for now. the end.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

oh, crap. i have a blog.

i know, i know. i'm a terrible blogger. last week was intense, but that's no excuse. feel free to hold me accountable for not blogging and not writing. the point of the blog is to share my life and do writing assignments.


on the plus side, i am wearing a skirt today.

i'm aware that has nothing to do with blogging, but at least i am trying a little.

and i didn't give you the ability to give me a real assignment last week because i felt overwhelmed by all the things i had to accomplish. however, it is a common occurrence for me to write poetry/songs when i am sitting in class in order to appear to be taking notes. so i have a poem/future lyrics to a song for you.

to be fair, it is sort of about what we were discussing in class--existential therapy...which is all about dealing with normal anxiety, finding meaning in life, etc.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


i have nothing productive to say; i just wanted to surface for a moment and breathe.

i am swamped with life. mostly homework and figuring out how to balance all of it.

if you need some levity in your life (and let's be honest--we all do), please read 'stuff christians like' by jon acuff. it's hilarious. and his blog is also stellar. you should definitely check it out.

Monday, October 4, 2010

take your poll and shove it

hey! take that temper down a notch. i was just trying to make a little joke.

didn't like it, huh? try this one* on for size:

how do you wake up lady gaga?


anyway...the poll indicated that i was supposed to write another chapter of my book this week. i am telling you right now that it's not happening. instead, i am giving you a little musical snack (geez...when was the last time i watched how to lose a guy?).

it was inspired by a comment made during the sermon yesterday.

there is music that goes with it, but i haven't mastered it to the point of posting it on the blog. someday.

the song is posted over in the 'songs' section (i know, crazy...), and it's called 'shadows of shame.'

*courtesy of sarah naylor