30 by 30 update: a semi-productive month, surprisingly

8 months to go. pow.

here's what i got done this month:

#2: i have paid off $1900 of my debt to my dad. booyah.

#5: i took a weekend trip by myself. it happened october 21-23. you can read about it HERE.

#11: i have been cooking tons and tons since i moved into the wigger house, and that has included several dinners for my super cool freshmen. THIS was one of them. my tally is 12/20.

#16: i have gotten a TON of reading done in the past month! i am now at 45/100 books. here's what i read/finished reading this past month:

the fire that ignites

dirk gently's holistic detective agency

crazy love

scholarship and Christian faith

the furious longing of God

the abbreviated psalter of the venerable bede

read, think, pray, live

is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns)

compassion

counseling research

assessment procedures

a parent's guide to the Christian college

#28: liz and i ran the flannels and flapjacks 5k at our church. you can see our ridiculous outfits HERE.

there's the update. november has been much kinder to my soul than october. i can't believe it is almost thanksgiving...and almost christmas...and almost my last semester of grad school. insane.

impressions...

i realize some of you do not know what i have been thinking about regarding my future. that could be because i have not really talked about it. so...these are the thoughts that have been rolling around in my head:

go somewhere to do a doctorate program.

go somewhere (some campus) for a job.

stay in marion for a year or so to work and hang out in the wigger house.

etc.

during my time of solitude this weekend, i read a verse that i loved:

my heart has heard you say, 'come and talk with me.' and my heart responds, 'Lord, i am coming.' psalm 27:8

i should note that i was not processing about my future at all when i read this. i just loved it and wrote it down. and then [because i was drinking a million pots of tea] i went to the bathroom. and in the ten feet or so between the bed and the bathroom, i was struck with a very strong impression about my next year.

this is straight out of my journal:

i am going somewhere new. alone. where my faith will be challenged, where people are desperate for Jesus, though they do not know it. where i will build authentic, vulnerable community that chases hard after truth and life-change. God is about to shake my life hard; he is going to require much of me. and the time i have in marion is meant to prepare me for this next step. it will be hard; it will be uncomfortable; it will require great faith.

---

so i'd love if you would start praying over those words...start praying for this time right now, where i am being prepared and equipped to be sent out...start praying for my protection...start praying for what's ahead in my life. thanks. :)

kapow! look at all these blog posts!

don't get too excited, but i am posting again. true story. but today's post will be brief anyway.

one of the things i did while i was gone this weekend was write and think and whatnot. and i wrote a poem. you can read it here: solitude.

(in case you didn't see it last week, i wrote a poem--read it here: wednesday--and solitude is sort of its answer.)

a weekend away...

you may have noticed a sudden decrease in my blog posts. the primary reason was the craziness that is my second-to-last semester of grad school. but beyond that, i have just been tired.

i am an introvert. i need alone time.

but i am also a grad student who lives in a house with three women, has two grad assistant positions, leads a breakout group of seventeen transfer students, and has an internship with twenty-nine honors college freshmen. i do not get much alone time.

there have been many cool things going on this semester. but also a lot of heavy things. that is what happens when you are immersed in community. that is what happens when you are in relationship with flawed, hurting people.

in an unprecedented way, i have felt the weight. it has pressed down on me.

i had to get away. i needed rest. i needed solitude.

so i made plans to spend the weekend alone. and then i actually went. and it was wonderful.

day/night one:

i shut my phone off. i put my sweatpants on and made many pots of tea. i did logic puzzles. i read books that had nothing to do with school or students. i ordered a pizza. i read a book in a bubble bath. i pampered myself with some mary kay treatments. i got caught up on parks and recreation. i slumbered happily in a big, cushy bed with a ridiculous amount of pillows.

day two:

i got up when i felt ready. i ate a leisurely breakfast and read. i made coffee and had quiet time. i got caught up on how i met your mother. i got caught up on community. i wrote some poetry. i rested. more logic puzzles. more tea. more reading. i took another awesome bubble bath and actually took the time to shave my legs well. i ate jimmy john's. i watched some badger football. i finished two books. i slept long and hard.

day three:

i ate breakfast and read. i spent some sweet time with Jesus. i finished another book. i took a luxurious shower. i enjoyed the quiet in the air and the quiet in my heart. and then i went home.

it was an excessively good and restful time. very quickly, i realized i need to be more deliberate about this. and do it more often. i have some more things to share about this time alone, but they are for another post.

for those of you who were aware i was doing this and were praying for me, thank you. i felt wrapped up in those prayers and loved well.