my anchor holds within the veil

hey, friend.  i hope this week has treated you kindly, full of gentle words and tender embraces.  it has been that kind of week for me, every day bringing little moments of grace and wonder.

here's the kind of weird thing, though.  nothing really happened.

do you remember when i wrote THIS POST just a few months ago?

well, circumstantially, nothing is very different in my life.  i'm still a single lady, hoping and praying that i will get to marry a farmer and have a lot of babies.  (he doesn't have to be a farmer.  i've just really been in a little house on the prairie kind of mood.)  my heart still both delights and breaks when i snuggle with my sweet nephew.  there is a very real loss and sorrow in my life.

but.

i am safe to travel to the edge of that sorrow, to look it right in the eye, to feel the utter extent of that pain and confusion. 

my anchor holds within the veil.

there is no place i can go where He is not.

and allowing myself to fully feel those emotions and acknowledge my life circumstances creates a space for healing and rest.  creates space for holy dancing and jumping and delighting in the freedom He purchased at such a great cost.

do you see?

i fully feel my joy because i fully feel my sorrow.

have a great weekend, beloved.  let me know how i can be praying for you.

30 by 30 update: a semi-productive month, surprisingly

8 months to go. pow.

here's what i got done this month:

#2: i have paid off $1900 of my debt to my dad. booyah.

#5: i took a weekend trip by myself. it happened october 21-23. you can read about it HERE.

#11: i have been cooking tons and tons since i moved into the wigger house, and that has included several dinners for my super cool freshmen. THIS was one of them. my tally is 12/20.

#16: i have gotten a TON of reading done in the past month! i am now at 45/100 books. here's what i read/finished reading this past month:

the fire that ignites

dirk gently's holistic detective agency

crazy love

scholarship and Christian faith

the furious longing of God

the abbreviated psalter of the venerable bede

read, think, pray, live

is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns)

compassion

counseling research

assessment procedures

a parent's guide to the Christian college

#28: liz and i ran the flannels and flapjacks 5k at our church. you can see our ridiculous outfits HERE.

there's the update. november has been much kinder to my soul than october. i can't believe it is almost thanksgiving...and almost christmas...and almost my last semester of grad school. insane.

announcements, announcements, annouuuuuuuuuuuuncements!

a) it's slicky's birthday today. boom.

b) i am going to the lake this weekend. my plans are: sun, homework, work on my book.

c) i haven't had time to generate something real yet, but in my quiet times, i have been hit with the theme of slavery and freedom over and over...so look for a blog post/chapter about that.

d) it's 3 weeks till my birthday. hope you're ready for that business.

e) both of my frisbee teams have been smashing our opponents this week. pretty great. currently, liars and cheetahs are 7-1, and once a cheetah is 6-2. not bad.

f) peace and blessings...

why i am a writer: freedom

i am a writer because

words are freedom.

truth is present in poetry,

and it doesn't have to make

sense to anyone but me.

i will not share the meaning.

you can read it how you like.

i am a deep well,

so draw from me

what you wish.

every last emotion,

everything i've experienced-

or never once felt-

can be dumped out of my

head

and heart,

rearranged as the

mood strikes me,

and i can breathe again.

i've been set free

by the creator.