Friday, February 7, 2014

cradle it; don't crank it.

there is something wrong with my neck.

when i was a baby, my nickname was 'floppyhead.'

i don't know if it goes back to infancy, but there has definitely been something wrong with my neck since at least third grade.

i have a very vivid and awful memory of throwing my neck out in a game of duck, duck, goose in the gym at cumberland road elementary school.  for days or maybe weeks afterward, mrs. mcintire would have me come to her desk and help me straighten my head because i couldn't hold it up correctly.

it must have felt better after a while, and i don't even know if i told my parents.  but sometime later in that school year, i was running on the playground and turning my head too quickly.  23 years later, i still remember seeing a white flash and the feeling of lightning streaking down one side of my body.  i am not overstating the pain level.

now, i think we all know i have never been gentle on this body of mine.  it's just the way it goes.  i've broken my wrist, separated my shoulder, strained and sprained almost every joint, strained my groin, given myself a concussion, had multiple ribs go out of place, shattered my nose, etc. 

but.  my neck is the most sensitive place on my body (this is a big statement, because i have really sketchy wrists).

sometime after college, i was stretching to go for a run.  i tweaked my neck but just decided to go about business as usual.  as i was showering later, i noticed it was hard to lean my head back.  and as i drove to the house where i was babysitting that night, i could tell i couldn't turn to the right well at all.  by the time the parents got home, my neck was locked: my head was facing left and slightly down.  i, the champion of pain and wounds, was rendered helpless. 

at the doctor's office the next day, he tried to turn my head.  i screamed, burst into tears, and nearly kicked him in his boy parts.  i got a neck brace and muscle relaxers for my troubles. 

i don't know if my neck issues have contributed to my history of migraines.  i don't know if they factor into my stupid ribs sliding out of place.  i do know chiropractors must rub their hands delightedly when they see my cocked head walk into their offices.

so.  since your prayers were mighty and beyond powerful for chuck, i wouldn't hate if you directed some at my neck.  just saying.

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