Tuesday, August 6, 2013

to the mommas

i have many thoughts on singleness, its joys and struggles, and what i have learned from it.  but those posts are for another day.  today, i want to share something that's been percolating around my little heart lately.

i want to be a mom.  so very much.  thought i should throw that out here at the beginning, but if you've ever had a conversation with me about what i want to do with my life, then you already know it.  (i even say it in interviews.)  that hope and desire permeate everything i am about to say, and i want you to know i feel it very strongly every day.  

so it's a painful sort of delight that just about every other person i run into is pregs, just had a kid, or has like three already.  (and if your name is mrs. bearclaw, then you fit all of those descriptions ...)  recently, i have had some amazing conversations with moms of littles, moms of tweens, and moms of college students.  all i can say is...



i know some damn fine women in this world. 



they are women who prayed ceaselessly for their miracle babies. 
they are women who love and serve their husbands and families.
they are women who are open and honest about their joys and struggles (and we need to hear both!).
they are women who model dependence on the Lord each and every day.

i am so thankful for these women.  not just for who they are as mothers--because that is not what defines them--but for the women they are.  their character.  their courage.  their friendship.  and then for the joy and strength with which they take up the role of motherhood each day. 

the older i get, the more i think being a parent must be one of the more challenging adventures in this world:  to raise up a child and know they may not appreciate anything you do.  to pour love and affection into someone who will make a multitude of wrong and hurtful choices as they grow.  to model so many right things, yet get called out on the others.  to try to protect something so fragile while not smothering it.  it sounds exhausting.  and terrifying.  and completely humbling.

you impress the crap out of me.

also...you should know your kids aren't the only ones watching you.  ignore the world's critical eye for a moment and hear this:

i have been watching you.  and i am awed by you.  i have been sharing some of these joys from a distance.  i have been stunned by the capacity you have to run on three hours of sleep, balance having a high schooler and a kindergartner at the same time, and still truly serve others with a genuine smile.  i have been noticing the subtle ways you model authentic love.  i have been listening to your sorrows and praying for you.  i have been so appreciative of how you allow yourself to be changed into women of greater character through your trials and victories.

i am so thankful for you.

10 comments:

  1. Love you. And I've been praying and will continue to pray for your dream! :)

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    1. and i love you. thank you for your friendship, for pursuing Christ, and for modeling motherhood. you are wonderful.

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  2. I love it, lady. Speaking of being honest about my joys and struggles, I was ready to trade Madeline in for a puppy today as she was screaming and wrestling me in the grocery store. You are truly an encouragement on just the day I needed it :) Praying alongside you and Erin!

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    1. haha that's so great. glad you didn't trade your kid in. love you, friend.

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  3. Holly girl, you kind of made me cry. Thank you!

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    1. well, i love that i made you cry for positive reasons. :)

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  4. Crying here too! You will make a fantabulous mom someday!!! Love you lady!

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    1. so sweet. :) and this is why i am so thankful for you women.

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  5. Definite tears on my end. Thank you so, so much for the encouragement, Holly. I love your vision and your passion. The Lord is and will continue to use that to grow all of us to look a little more like Jesus every day.

    Thank you, sweet Holly.

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    1. thank you for your sweet words, julie. :)

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