you know how sometimes-------so rarely, really-------i act like a hermit and never leave my room?
'what's that,' you say. 'holly, a hermit? i wouldn't believe it even if it saw it! holly is outgoing and loves meeting people! she likes to socialize and share her life with others.'
FALSE. i am not, do not, never will, and often do only against my will.
i have been rather convicted about that. sometimes God uses people to convict me of it. like when they flat out call me a hermit to my face. sometimes he just puts it on my heart. either way, before i left wisconsin, i publicly declared (and by publicly declared, i mean i told like three people) that i would intentionally seek out community at school so that i would have people to invest in and with whom to be authentic. (as opposed to what i did when i moved to wisconsin, which was...nothing. for a year.)
i made the deliberate decision to have a class be on campus (instead of all three being online.) i have attended social type things. i said, yes! i want a mentor in the grad program. yes! i will go hang out as long as liz will drive me. yes! i will go hang out even when liz won't drive me.
these are all kind of big steps for me, as sad as that might be.
but here's the coolest part of it...
i am making friends! :)
sometimes, i sound like a kid who just got back from her first day of kindergarten.