a lot can be said about love on a day like today. i know (based on sitting on campus today) that a lot of negativity exists, even in the christian realm, toward a day like february 14th. i think that's a little bit sad.
does valentine's day remind me that i am single? well, sure. but let's be honest. i'm pretty aware of my singleness every day. so i don't think that's good cause to hate on one particular day over another.
last week, one of my students asked me if i felt like i was behind because i was 28 and single. i replied that it was a loaded question with a layered answer. but simply, yes and no. yes, i want to be married and popping out babies. i think i will be a fun wife and mom. and many of my friends are doing that and loving it right this second. high five to all of you. but i also have to answer no to that question because being a single woman has led me to this place i am at right now. i love what i am doing; i get to pour into college students; i feel affirmed and loved every single day. so i am thinking i am right where God wants me to be.
and as a woman who has been chosen and redeemed by the creator of the world, i can choose to celebrate his love for me. it is pretty deep...far deeper than i know. and he is more faithful than anyone around me. he never fails me. he has given me more grace and more chances than i could ever earn. man, how he loves me! let's celebrate that, huh?
little blogging world, i love you. i am thankful for this community that gives me the space to write out little bits of my heart. happy valentine's day.
Loaded and layered: I like that response. My own feelings about singleness are a complicated mix of rejoicing and grief. The funniest things can sometimes tip the balance without me always understanding why -- like a holiday meant to celebrate love. It is my desire to celebrate God's love everyday. After all, as you've described so well, it's far too great to be confined to one little day or even within the bounds of time itself. But I am deeply grateful for God's patience with me on the many, many, many days (Valentine's often being one of them) when I fail. I hope that all those who struggled with Valentine's Day today -- for whatever reason... loneliness, the loss of a loved one, frustration over its commercialization, to name a few that I have heard and felt -- find once again that God is patient and that his love endures forever.
ReplyDeletesara, you're definitely right about there being many reasons why one day can be harder than another. and as a perpetual pessimist, i think it's a little ironic that i wrote this blog today. i think it must have something to do with God chipping away at some of the walls i've built up.
ReplyDeletei certainly wouldn't want to minimize the tension (rejoicing and grief) that you (and let's be totally honest--holly louise, too!) feel about singleness. i'm sure it will be a blog/journal/pondering topic for as long as i remain single.
love this. love you!
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